The Scrolls of Humor
by missterio
Summary: This is just a collection of silly poems about Samurai Jack and Aku, and sometimes the demons.
1. Who's Better?

**Author's Note: **This is my _very_ first poem to the fanfiction site. I wrote this poem about 3 years ago, so I'm sorry if it sounds stupid, but I thought it would be nice to put it up anyway. Please READ AND REVIEW it! I really want reviews!

Also... This poem works kind of odd, because Samurai Jack and Aku both talk in it, so in this poem, it starts out with Aku saying something on the first line, then the second line is when Jack speaks (that's what the italics are for.) So it goes Aku speaks every other line that is not in italics, but on the second verse, Jack starts out the poem and Aku's lines ARE in italics... I hope I'm not confusing you _too_ much... Well, hope you enjoy the poem! (kind of like a rap song, in a way...)

* * *

**Who's Better?**

I hate Jack!

Better watch my back.

I hate him so much!

With killing and such.

And with his blade...

Which the monks made.

...he tries to destroy me!

So you'll leave me be!

... Jack, Jack... gotta go back...

I hate Aku!

Of course you do!

He's so evil!

So what's new?

His laws are cruel...

That's why I rule!

... and so barbaric!

You're so dramatic!

Jack, Jack... watch your back...

Aku sees you!

I see you too!

My evil is law!

But I'm your flaw.

I'm the Deliverer of Darkness...

He hates kindness.

... and the Shogun of Sorrow!

Can we battle tomorrow?

Jack, Jack... what do you think rhymes with back...

I am a Samurai.

I wonder why.

I protect all that is good!

When you're in the mood.

I'll keep my promise to my father...

But why even bother?

... and return to the past!

Then you better move fast...

because time's running out...

He's...

gotta get back,

back to the past,

Samurai Jack...

Jack, Jack... can't go back...


	2. That Spells?

**Author's Note:** I acutally thought my first poem would be the only Samurai Jack/ Aku poems, but I decided to put up another corny poem. Please READ AND REVIEW them!

Oh... this poem is read/ told through the eyes of one of Aku's demons. Just to let ya know, so you won't be too confused when reading this corny poem. ENJOY READING!

* * *

**That Spells...?**

S-A-M-U-R-A-I

this man is always in the way,

and he needs to die.

He destroys all of us in each town,

he is the samurai warrior,

and he needs to go down.

They call him Jack,

and I don't know why,

but he wants to go back (home.)

* * *

A-K-U

if you ever met him,

than he'll come after you.

He wants your souls

he wants your power,

but he doesn't want your moles.

He's our master, he's our ruler,

and he hates Jack,

and thinks that this samurai is such a droller.

I hope our master wins,

he's a demon, he's a wizard,

and he has his sins.

* * *

J-A-C-K,

if you want him,

than you better tell him to stay.

He wants peace, he wants the world right,

by killing our master and all of us,

that means he has to fight.

He has that sword

which his father gave him,

and he'll keep his word:

to return to the past,

destroy Aku,

but he better move fast.

We hate this samurai,

and no matter what,

but he has to die!

* * *

D-E-M-O-N

we don't fight like mice,

we fight like men.

We have our pride,

we have our glory

we never run and hide.

We hate this samurai,

he always kills us,

and we like to know why.

We love our master, we love our wizard.

We go through all lands,

to the toughest blizzard.

Our master really wants us to get the samurai,

we have to win, we cannot lose,

but this man has to die...

* * *

_we hate jack,_

_we want him to go,_

_and never come back!_


	3. Oh Little Samurai

**Author's Note: **I've based this poem off of the song "Ignorance is Bliss" by the Jellyfish. Basically, the main difference is that I replaced the Mario characters with... uh, ones from the Samurai Jack show.

Also... when the sentences go into italics, that means Aku's demons/ minions are the ones speaking or singing... or however you want the poem to be put. Enjoy, and reviews are greatly appreciated!**

* * *

**

**Oh Little Samurai**

Wake up!

My minions, it is your one and only king: Lord Aku.

I'm a demon as you see;

shape-shifting and very mean,

but on the whole I'd say: like brand new.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_Oh little samurai... are you yet frightened?_

_For If you knew just why you're here, your anger will be heightened._

So let's just say: evilness is bliss.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Oh my minions... while I hate to go away and fly,

I brought you here to catch the samurai, you know that mortal.

Oh, what's his name?

Ah yes! -- _Samurai Jack_, just the sound throws out my back,

I'd love to take that enchanted sword and play my own game...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_Oh little samurai... you're so misguided._

_We've never been fond of fighters, but then again, you'll make good bounty hunter bait --_

Oh I can't wait!

Evilness is bliss!

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

With my magic I'll go shower,

those foolish peasants with my power

until all worlds bow to the one-and-only me.

The only problem with my over-world,

is that over the years I've become very bored,

so every day I drain away, and all I want is that samurai thrown to sea!

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

_Oh little samurai... you think you're so clever._

_All your actions are easily graphed; a picture tells it better._

I'll say it once more: evilness is bliss.

Haven't you heard, samurai? A picture is worth a thousand words!

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

You call yourself a samurai, but all you are is a man in a dress -- leaving me to wonder why...

I can't believe you've wasted all those years with your masters training.

You remind me of a powerful warrior ages before,

he trained so much that he got sore.

Yes, _sore_! I mean _so_ sore; _VERY_ sore, all over his body -- what a brainless fool!

Just once I'd like to get my claws...

Just one time around that samurai's neck...

I would surely make his past a living nightmare!

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

_Oh little samurai... are you yet frightened?_ (you're so misguided...)

_For if you knew just why you're here, your anger will be heightened._

_Oh little samurai... you think you're so clever._ (say it better...)

_All your actions are easily graphed; a picture tells it better._

For your sake, samurai; for the very last time:... ... ...

Then again, I think I've made my point._

* * *

_

**Author's Note:** When the sentences merged in the middle of the page -- well, I know it sounds strange, but that's kinda like the "turning point" in the poem. If it still confuses you or your eyes, just leave it in the review that you don't like it, and I'll change it. Otherwise, if there are no complaints, I'll just leave it as it is. 


End file.
